Flashback
by NotThatWord
Summary: Ritsuka remembers the final fight with Seimei and evaluates his feelings for Soubi. I Do Not Own Loveless!


Seventeen year old Aoyagi Ritsuka opened the door to his apartment suppressing a sigh. Today was the four year anniversary of his brother's death. Closing the door behind him and kicking off his shoes, Ritsuka looked up and caught his reflection in the mirror that hung in the walkway. He was not a vain young man, but he took the time to study himself in the reflective glass.

He was tall, about six feet three inches. His black eyes were wide and thickly lashed, which often made him the object of several bullies pranks and several girls' attention. His hair, also black was currently shoulder length and his bangs fell carelessly over his forehead. Ritsuka frowned as he stared at his face. Soubi often told him he was beautiful. But, he thought, that was Soubi for you. Ritsuka's eyes fell on the top of his head and felt a sense of nostalgia for the silky, black ears that no longer adorned the crown of his head.

Ritsuka turned and walked into the living room. Now, he did sigh. Stretched out on the couch, taking up the whole thing with him lean body, Ritsuka's roommate was sound asleep. He was on his stomach, his head cradled in his arms which were wrapped around a pillow; his glasses laid on the coffee table which was placed in front of the couch.

Ritsuka pulled the strap of his old, leather messenger style school bag over his head and tossed his dreaded homework against the wall. As he walked over to the couch, he grabbed a blanket from the back of another chair. Before placing it over his friend, Ritsuka studied the twenty five year old man. The blonde hair was falling free from the pony tail and a few strands had become strewn across the pale, perfect face. The finely arched eyebrows were as pale as the hair. Ritsuka shook his head and gently placed the blanket over the man.

Suddenly, he found himself gripped around the waist by a strong arm and before he knew it he was on the couch and staring up at a pair of piercing blue eyes. For a moment he could only stare, stunned, at the smiling face looking down at him. Then, he heard the chuckling. Shoving at the slim, but strong shoulders under the black t-shirt, Ritsuka glared at the man.

"Soubi! Get off!"

Ignoring the shoves and the annoyed curses the younger boy threw at him, Agatsuma Soubi leaned down gently bit Ritsuka's slim neck. The boy automatically went stiff. Interpreting the lack of movement for his own benefit, Soubi worked his way along Ritsuka's jaw with light kisses.

"Soubi," it was said softly. "I told you I need time."

The older man sighed.

Soubi sat back on the end of the couch, while Ritsuka sat up and pulled his legs toward him, wrapping his arms around his knees. Soubi reached up and took his hair down, only to gather the loose strands and pull it back up.

He looked at Ritsuka. "Do you want to go before or after we eat?"

"Let's eat first."

Standing up, Soubi looked down at Ritsuka. "Okay, I'll go fix dinner. You," he pointed to Ritsuka's discarded book bag, "do your homework."

Ritsuka nodded and watched until he saw Soubi's disappear into the kitchen. Then, he stretched out on the couch, tossing an evil look towards the book bag. He thought about the look that he'd seen in Soubi's eyes a minute ago and remembered when he'd finally given into and stopped denying his feelings for the older man. He loved Soubi, but he wasn't ready for _that _step yet. He thought about how Soubi had waited patiently, with no judgment on his face, as Ritsuka had went through his many girlfriends and when he'd lost his ears to his last girlfriend at the beginning of this year.

Looking back, though he couldn't remember them all, he suddenly realized that a lot of his girlfriends had resembled Soubi. That didn't really surprise him. He'd dated all those girls to keep Soubi at arm's length, not realizing that all those years he was denying the inevitable. Almost a month after he had first come home earless, he'd had another nightmare about his brother and after fighting away the darkness he had awoken to find himself in Soubi's arms. He then had realized that through it all, the good and the bad, Soubi had been with him, reassuring him and encouraging him. It had been Soubi who had shown Ritsuka that he didn't need to try to be the "Ritsuka" his mother wanted. He could be whoever he wanted and that if he liked who he was now, he should continue living the way he was.

Soubi had always been there for him and always would be. Like when Ritsuka had finally moved out of his mother's house and away from her abuse at fifteen, Soubi had gladly opened his own home to him. Soubi's warmth and strong arms helped him up when he fell; his swift, sure, and intelligent words protected him in battle. When he had woken up from that nightmare to Soubi's familiar smell, warm body, and soothing words, Ritsuka had stopped fighting what had been coming since he first met the Fighter: Love. And when he'd told Soubi, all the man had said was, "Finally" and then had wrapped him in a hug.

A loud clunk form the kitchen yanked Ritsuka from his memories and back to the present. Letting go with another sigh, he got up and retrieved his school bag. As he sat on the couch staring at the English homework, he wished had gotten together with Yuiko and Yayoi.

* * *

Ritsuka and Soubi made their way through the rows of headstones until they reached the very end of it; they stopped at the last one. Soubi stayed back a little to give Ritsuka some time. As Ritsuka stared at the engraved limestone, he never noticed the single tear that escaped his eye. Shoving his hands in his coat pocket to protect them from the late October chill, he mouthed the words written below Seimei's name.

_BELOVED SON AND LOVING BROTHER_

Ritsuka sat down, cross-legged, on top of the grave. When the wind blew the boy's hair from his face, Soubi caught a glimpse of his expression. It took all his willpower not to go to him. Ritsuka could still remember the day Seimei died, because Ritsuka had killed him. Letting his head fall into his hands, the seventeen year old thought back to the events that happened when he was thirteen.

* * *

_Standing among the rubble of what was left of the school that had housed the organization called Seven Moons, thirteen year Aoyagi Ritsuka stared at his brother. Aoyagi Seimei stared back. Agatsuma Soubi stood between the two, frozen, afraid of what to do next._

_Seimei broke the silence. "Well Ritsuka? Have you made your decision? You can either come with me or stay here and die like a dog with the rest of these…people." He said the word with disdain._

"_Seimei, what happened to you? Why are you doing this? It doesn't have to be this way!" Ritsuka shouted, pleading with his brother._

"_It already is!" Seimei barked, his eyes leaking hate. "You were supposed to understand! I was doing this for you!"_

_Ritsuka shook his head. "No, I don't want this! This people are my friends! Everything you told me in that fake will was a lie!"_

"_I'm sorry Ritsuka, but I'm afraid their ways of life have already sunk into your head. If I take you with me, you'll try to destroy me and we can't have that can we."_

_His eyes crazed and his face contorted in a sneer, Seimei's next words were dripping with finality. "Goodbye, Ritsuka."_

_Seimei motioned with his hand and Nisei stepped from the shadows. Soubi, who had not moved from his spot between the brothers, seemed to snap back to attention at the sight of the Beloved Fighter. He stepped in front of Ritsuka._

_None of the four, who were focused only on each other, noticed Nagisa, Natsuo, Youji, and 7 run up._

_Seimei raised his eyebrows. "Oh? Are you really thinking that you can defend him from me? You, who sees me as his god?"_

"_Soubi," Ritsuka whispered. "Don't, you'll get killed."_

_Soubi focused on the pair in front. He had to find some way to disobey Seimei or Ritsuka would be killed._

_Then, Seimei did the very thing Soubi feared most._

_In a voice cold as ice, hardened with malice, Ritsuka's brother, who he once looked up to, whose entire being was kind and gentle, told the blank Fighter, "Kill him. Kill Ritsuka, Soubi."_

_Soubi's entire body stiffened. Ritsuka's eyes widened. The four onlookers gasped. Seimei laughed evilly. _

_As he fought against the command, the front of his shirt became soaked with blood. Fighting against the name had opened the scars, the way it did when he fought for Ritsuka. Turning towards the small boy with silky, cat ears and wide, expressive black eyes that he had come to love, Soubi's body would not listen to his head._

"_Winds that cut, fires that burn, bring forth the pricks of pain."_

_Hand in front of him, palm pointed towards Ritsuka, Soubi started the spell. Ritsuka was in pain. Not physical pain, even though the cuts he had were pretty bad, no, this pain was inside. With every word that Soubi twisted his spell with, Ritsuka's heart squeezed and broke a little more._

"_End the pain, end the lies, erase the life inside this heart."_

_The wind picked up and swirled around the Fighter, each time it wrapped around Soubi it burned bright with fire. Ritsuka didn't notice the tears in his eyes. As he watched the scene before him, his mad glee of things finally coming to an end engulfing him, he did not notice the redirection of the spell until it was too late._

"_I curse myself to lose my life, unsaved by nothing but the truth, will no longer submit to evil deeds."_

_The wind and fire picked up and started moving closer to the Fighter, his final spell complete._

"_No!" Seimei yelled. This wasn't supposed to happen! Soubi can never disobey him, his word is absolute!_

_Ritsuka realized what was happening almost a second too late. All of a sudden, a sudden memory can back to him:_

"Soubi? If Seimei was alive and he came back and told you to kill me, what would you do?"

The pale, blonde haired man was silent.

"You'd do it, wouldn't you?"

The silence answered his question.

"I knew it!" Ritsuka turned and ran, only to be stopped by a pale hand wrapped around his wrist. Ritsuka found himself embrace in a hug. He pushed against the taller man.

"Let me go!" The tears unknowingly finding their way into his eyes, his heart hurting in a way it had never hurt before.

Soubi wrapped his arms around the cat-eared boy tighter.

"If that happens," he said quietly. "I'll die first."

Ritsuka stopped struggling.

Soubi continued. "A life without Ritsuka in it, I cannot live."

Ritsuka wrapped his own arms tightly around the waist of his Fighter and friend. Crying softly he whispered just loud enough for the older man to hear.

"Baka."

As Ritsuka nestled further into his chest and coat, Soubi smiled gently.

"_No!" This time it was Ritsuka who screamed._

_Those in the room watched, some in fear and some in stunned silence, as Ritsuka ran forward and threw himself through the whirlwind of wind and fire and into Soubi's arms._

_Looking up at his Fighter with tearful eyes he said, "You can't leave me. I need you! You said I would never be alone, I'd always have you!"_

_Soubi, who was quite stunned himself, stared into the black eyes of his sacrifice. In those black depths he saw several things: determination, fear, bravery, and love. _

"_Ritsuka, why would you do that? You could have been killed!"_

_Determination shining brightly over the other emotions Ritsuka said, "Because I need you! You're mine!"_

_Just then, a blinding light burst through the tornado of wind and fire from the inside, destroying the funnel. All eyes turned to the two standing in the middle of it as something amazing happened._

_As he stood there, his hands each holding onto one of Ritsuka's shoulders, the yellow light zeroed in on Soubi's neck and sealed the carved out name of Beloved. So that when the light faded, the once scarred and bleeding skin of the slim, pale neck was now unblemished and perfect._

"_I-Impossible!" Seimei declared._

_Even Nagisa looked confounded. 7 and the zeroes looked on in awe._

_Ritsuka ran his hand over the smooth skin of Soubi's neck._

"_Ritsuka, do you want me? Am I yours?" Soubi asked._

_Absolute sureness in his voice the young sacrifice replied, "Yes."_

_Seimei let out an outraged scream. "Nisei!"_

_The black haired Fighter turned towards his sacrifice. _

"_Kill them."_

_Stepping forward, Nisei brought his hand in front of him. Seeing this, Soubi stepped in front of Ritsuka ready to block._

_For a split second, Ritsuka was frozen. He knew what he had to do, but could he do it? This was his brother, not some other bad guy. No, Ritsuka thought, this is not my brother. This is the man who will kill me. Even from where he stood, the thirteen year old could see the hate filled eyes drilling into him from the familiar face. He thought about his friends, everyone who he had befriended since discovering Seimei was alive, everyone who had fought to not only protect their school, but him as well. It was his turn to protect them. Decision made, Ritsuka spoke up with a heavy heart._

"_Soubi," his voice was firm. "Defeat them."_

"_Yes, Ritsuka."_

_After the battle, Ritsuka could remember waking up in a bed, his arms bandaged, and Soubi in a chair next to him sleeping. All he knew was that everything was over and his brother was dead. He hadn't let himself cry yet, probably wouldn't for awhile. He turned to look at the sleeping Soubi, who's neck was still smooth and scar less. _

_He put his head in his hands and rubbed his forehead. Somehow, everything would be alright. He didn't know how he knew that, but he had a feeling that as long as Soubi was with him he could survive everything._

_

* * *

  
_

Ritsuka stood from his spot on the ground, dusting off the dirt off his pants. He owed a lot to those people at the Seven Moons and to his brother, because of them he got Soubi; and vice versa. When the name had been erased somehow by Soubi's spell when he was going to kill himself so he wouldn't have to harm Ritsuka, it had made it like Seimei's control over the Fighter had never existed. No matter what Seimei did or said, he had no control of Soubi. Afterwards, Ritsuka had had Soubi weave a spell that had marked his own left forearm and Ritsuka's right forearm with the name that would from then on be known as unbeatable: Loveless.

Ritsuka noticed that Soubi had come up behind him and was standing there, waiting. He touched his arm, rubbing his name through his clothes, and smiled. He turned toward the blonde man.

"Let's go home."

As they walked back through the graveyard, Ritsuka looked around to see if anyone was around and finding nobody, he slipped his hand into Soubi's.

The two made their way back to their apartment and back to their lives and away from the past.

* * *

Please review! Tell me what you think about my first Loveless FanFic! And, help me decide whether or not to continue with this or make it a oneshot!


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